So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.
The Department of Backstory, Brought to You By Roku
Aang's dream sequence!
Roku: So, same old same old, you go some disclosed location and I give you mystical flashbacks of woe and exposition.
Aang: Sweet. See you around.
The Department of Backtory, Brought to You By Zuko's
Zuko Fangirls: Ah, pajamas. How we love them.
Zuko: Omigosh! A scroll!
Scroll: Look into your great-grandfather's origins. You will find your destiny hidden there.
Zuko: A roundabout, puzzling message with mentions of my destiny? WHO could've sent this?!?
The Next Day, Fire Lord Portrait Hall
Azula: Maybe you should make an appointment to get yours done. Make sure they get your GOOD side. Hint hint.
Zuko: Yes, I get it, you're tormenting me. Can we MOVE ON?
Azula: Drama queen.
Zuko: Whatever. By the way, how did our great-grandfather die again?
Azula: *sigh* You ALREADY know this, but the audience doesn't so I'll have to explain. He died a successful old man, peacefully in his sleep. Duh.
Zuko: *suspicious fuming*
Zuko: This makes no SENSE! *throws scroll on lamp*
Secret Message: Sneak into the Fire Temple and it will make sense!
Zuko: Well THAT'S oddly convenient.
Aang: So this was Roku's home!
Katara: But it's just volcanos and stuff!
Toph: Yeah, but there's a village covered in ash under here.
Sokka: Yes, well that'll probably be explained later.
After waiting around for a few hours posing in his Hood of Sneaking, Zuko finally enters the Fire Temple and later the forbidden room, using easy but cool-looking firebending moves.
Zuko: So, the final testament of Fire Lord Sozin, huh? Sure, why not.
Sozin: (voiceover) So, if you're reading this, you found my secret scrolls. Good for you. Well, when I was a kid, my bestest friend in the whole world was Roku...
Unbeknownst to Zuko, Aang and Roku are hanging around inside of the flashback.
Roku: Here I am, practicing fighting with Sozin!
Aang: Wow! You guys were friends?
Roku: Yes. Friends. Totally friends. In conclusion: friends. I liked a girl! See?
Aang: Yeah! She looks...oddly like Ty Lee cosplaying as Ursa.
Roku: Yes, well. I was an incredibly awkward teenager, much like yourself!
Roku: Fortunately, I had dashing good looks, and my birthday was coming up! Right now, coincidentally. Our birthday was one of the many things Sozin and I shared!
Aang: Yeah, I bet it was.
Roku: ...Anyway, more to the point:
Sages: Guess what?
Sozin: The fandom was right about how it takes a while for you to figure out who the Avatar is?
Sages: Well, yes, but also something else! Roku is the Avatar. Now BOW!
Another Flashback, Roku's Room
Roku: At first I didn't know how to feel about being the avatar. All I knew was that suddenly, everything began to change.
Aang: Gee, where have I heard this before?
Roku: Kid? Shut up and listen to the flashback.
Sozin: Hey, It's the great and mighty Avatar! Go on, do a cool bending move!
Sozin: Why aren't you packing?
Roku: The monks say that Avatars have no stuff and need no stuff.
Sozin: Bummer. Well, I don't think that they'll mind just one...
Roku: Gasp! Your sparkly princely hair accessory!
Sozin: Yes, Roku. I want you to have it as a symbol of our eternal–FRIENDSHIP. Totally friends. I conclusion: friends.
Roku's Avatar Training
Ruko: I went to the Air Temple, and I made a very good friend. His name was Gyatso.
Aang: OMG you knew Gyatso???
Roku: Yes, I did. You were friends with him even in a past life.
Aang: So that means...
Roku: Yes, Aang. Gyatso was really, REALLY old.
Roku: After that, I went on to train with a waterbender who may or may not be related to Sokka and Katara, and an earthbender who may or may not be related to Toph.
Aang: AWESOME bending sequences!
Roku: Thanks! All of that training gave me the ability to do this:
Roku, standing on some insignificant stretch of land and bends a different element in each direction. And so the onslaught of anti-climatic clips from the trailer continues.
Back in the Fire Nation
Sozin (voiceover): After mastering the elements, Roku came home. We were both very different.
Roku: But we were still bestest buddies! And so...
Roku: Remember that one girl? That's her. My adolescent crush led to a happy future together!
Kataang Shippers: *plot plan scheme*
Sozin: *whisper* Hey, can I borrow him for a sec?
That One Three Minute Clip That Everyone Has Already Seen
Sozin: Right now, we have it all right here in the Fire Nation. We have lots of money, success, and privileges, and you now have a hot wife.
Roku: Once again proving that I am straight.
Sozin: Our undeniable heterosexuality aside, we have tons of good stuff, and now is the perfect time to blow that all to hell!
Roku: Dude, relax. It's my wedding! Get off with a bridesmaid or something!
Sozin: Roku, this is serious. I'm the Fire Lord, and you're the Avatar. Together, we could be the strongest
Roku: Um, Sozin? I'm the AVATAR. I'm all about balance and equality and FOUR nations.
Sozin: But...but...new world order, man!
Roku: Screw this, I'm out.
Sozin: FINE, BE THAT WAY.
Years Later (Continuing the Clip)
Roku: WHAT THE HELL.
Sozin: What's wrong?
Roku: Look, my bat-dragon is double parked, so I'll make this quick. YOU ARE A DUMBASS.
Sozin: Hey, it's a GOOD idea!
Roku: IT. IS. NOT.
Sozin: If that's the way you want it...SUPER FIREBENDING POWERS!
Roku: Bitch, please. I'm the AVATAR, REMEMBER?
Throne Room: *is decimated*
Roku: I could totally kill you right now and end this shit once and for all. But I won't, because we're still...friends. Totally friends. In conclusion: friends.
Even More Years Later, That Old Volcano Town
Roku: ...But this would not be the last time I saw him. One fateful night, my wife and I were woken up by something strange...
Roku: Shit! The volcano is erupting! Get everyone to safety while I hold it off!
Roku's Wife: Um, honey? If we already know that I'll be able to get everyone in this considerably tiny village into boats, and we don't care all that much about our possessions, why do you need to put yourself in mortal danger?
Roku: WOMAN, ARE YOU CONTRADICTING HERO LOGIC?
Roku's Wife: *sigh*
Hundreds of Miles Away
Sozin: (voiceover) I'm still narrating, you know! Oh, and the volcano looked really explodey.
Roku: (voiceover) So, not only was I trying to hold off the lava, I was doing that while POISON GAS sprayed in my face. And my bat-drangon had decided to ditch me. But that was when...well, just watch the flashback.
Sozin: *on bat-dragon* You looked like you needed help.
Roku: Sozin! I love you so much right now.
Sozin: But I thought we agreed–
Roku: Not now, we have to avoid gassy death!
They walk as carefully as possible down the volcano, but Roku gets a facefull of poison gas for his trouble.
Sozin: Actually, I don't think I will.
Roku: WHAT?!? THEN WHY DID YOU BOTHER SHOWING UP???
Sozin: ...Dramatic irony.
Sozin leaves on his own bat-dragon. A BLUE ONE. OMGWTFCABBADGES.
Somewhere in the Air Temples
Baby Aang: *is ridiculously adorable*
Roku: And so I died, but then you were born, and well, you know that story.
Aang: Yeah. Can I go home now?
Roku: Not yet. Sozin has to finish the other half of the exposition.
Sozin Finishes the Exposition
Sozin: (voiceover) So, because I knew that the next Avatar would be an airbender, I sent people to kill all those guys. Which I would've probably done anyway, because I'm a violent bastard that way. But even though I killed them all, none of them were him! It was almost as if he was hidden away somewhere...
In an incredibly cool imagery shot, a fire navy ship cruises down the South Pole, directly above Aang's iceberg. It's a very good thing that there were no Fire Navy scuba divers.
Present Day, Fire Temple
Zuko: Wait, that's IT???? All that buildup, and for what?! That's even more disappointing than the end of–
_loudnproud_: DON'T SAY IT.
Zuko: But it's–
Iroh has apparently ended his silence in this season. YAY!
Zuko: I know you sent me those messages–
Iroh: No shit, Sherlock.
Zuko: –but I learned NOTHING! That didn't tell me ANYTHING new about my great-grandfather's death!
Iroh: Yes it did.
Zuko: It did NOT.
Iroh: Zuko, think about it. You have more than one great-grandfather.
Iroh: And your sister inherited her prodigy-like powers from SOMEONE, didn't she?
Zuko: ...I don't follow.
Iroh: DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU???? ROKU. IS . YOUR. GREAT-GRANDFATHER.
Zuko: But that can't be! That's impossible!
Iroh: Look within yourself, you know it to be true.
Iroh: Can it, drama queen. I swear, your father is a terrible influence. Now take the sparkly princely hair accessory that is rightfully yours!
Obligatory Cutesy Ending
Aang: In that trip to the spirit world, I learned that not all Fire-types are bad. Just the ones running the country!
Toph: That sounds oddly familiar.
Katara: Whatever. Let's all hold hands!
In Conclusion: Friends. They were TOTALLY friends.